What I shout in my head WHENEVER I squat


Today was humbling. After my braggy endorphin-high post yesterday….I needed today.

Today hurt. I got very little sleep after a later than normal class, and then the 5 AM class. My shoulder still feels wonky. I couldn’t even fathom squatting the weight I planned on last night when it got time to do the workout. Even air squats made me feel like I was in molasses

So, I scaled even my scale goal. The RX was 125# and I did 105#. And they were HARD.  My last 2 squats for the last two rounds were hideous.  I tried to maintain perfect form, but I couldn’t. 105# should not be so heavy for me. I should be able to do 4 sets of 5 no problem.  

But i couldn’t. Not today, maybe not on a good day. 

Guys, I have a confession

Squatting, of any sort, with any sort of weight over maybe 95#, is a complete goat for me. I hate squatting. I am mechanically not built for it (long fermus/short torso), I am slow out of the hole, and I can never remember to keep my core tight.

It’s taken a round of Smolov Jr to get my back squat from 135 to 160. It will take a round of Hatch to get my back squat from 160 to 175.  I want 200#.  I’m gunning for it. But my gains are SO SLOW in this area, that it will take me at least another year, if not two to get close.  

I KNOW gains are going to be slow for me. It’s hard for me to get serious strength gains, I’m built to light, with a small bone structure and frame.  But I put the work in, and it gets frustrated that it’s taken me over a year to get just 25#  on my deadlift. Now, to be fair i didn’t try and make any gains during my pregnancy…but still I managed to add weight to all my flits except my squats. I’ve only put 10# on my front squat since..oh i don’t know Feburary? 

It gets disheartening because squatting is everywhere in this sport, and it’s so hard for me. If you see my air squat, my form is good-chest up, knees out, no “butt wink”. I can drop into a deep squat and practice sitting in there, but I will always be leaning forward. The problem is when your torso is that much shorter than your femurs, you have to lean for ward more to maintain your shoulders over mid foot in order to maintain that vertical line.   Also, I’m slow out of the hole. i’m not sure if i should just do some pause squats to get used to building those muscles up but it’s frustrating.



EnANough of the pity party

 I’ve got 5 more weeks of hatch.  150 felt pretty good, when I just let myself put the bar where it felt most comfortable on my back instead of fighting for super high bar.  I’m going to do half the reps in the warm up sets as pause squats to build those muscles up and get used to exploding out of the hole.  My goal is to get 175# on my back squat when this is over and 150# on my front. That’s a very modest 15# increase but at this point i don’t want to shoot for more. Hopefully some pause squats will assist me in strengthening myself in that bottom postion. After that I might take a 3 month break and work on some deadlifts, then hit the Bergner program. 



Any squatting tips or accessory work you can shoot my way?


4 thoughts on “Humbling

  1. j! ayson

    Squats are definitely my most challenging exercise at least mentally. I always feel so stressed just thinking about doing squats. It’s such an intimidating lift for me. My gains are very slow but I’m getting stronger so I’m happy.

    1. Lil Mama Post author

      Yes! I try and focus on the positive. it’s funny, but only one female that day went heavier than i did on the squats (she was in the class with me). The other girls who are more competitive did my weights, but it was too light for them because my squats are so bad that they didn’t realize that i need to scale more than normal on things for squats lol

  2. Corrie Anne

    I’m not in love with any barbell work, but squats come easier to me than things like power cleans or anything with a lot of arms!! Sounds like you have a good plan doing strength cycles. I’ll get there someday, but for now I’m just inching up in everything since I’m a scaredy-cat with 1 rep maxes!

    1. Lil Mama Post author

      you’re like my Crossfit opposite though-you are so naturally strong and really don’t have to do a whole lot of volume to become stronger, like I do, whereas gymnastic-like things (like HSPU, pull ups and dips) come easier to me. But, to be fair, i have arms the size of a T.rex sooooo…….not far to go


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