Paleo Fail-eo (and other things I fail at)

Hello

I fail. Often.  And not always at the things you think I would.  I’ve been taking stock at some of the things I have been having issues with at Crossfit, and some of it makes no sense. I can’t do a rope climb.  Well, back up. I can, but I’m gripping the rope with my thighs and using my arms. i probably could do a legless one, but I can’t figure out how to grab that rope with my legs. Like, my brain blanks out when the coach shows us.  This is what he’s showing me

Image

Easy peasy

This is what my brain translates it too

Image

Look, ma-no hands!

I also can’t seem to do chest-to-bar pull ups,  despite being able to string AT LEAST 10-12 kipping pull ups and getting 5-6 strict pull ups. It even stumps my coaches, because I SHOULD have the strength. I showed my coach today how I wasn’t able too (they think I’m sandbagging when I scale these) and he said for some reason my kip starts to morph from a standard kip to a butterfly kip and it looks ridiculous (paraphrasing-he was much meaner about it).    No idea why.

These are all things I SHOULDNT fail at. I should be able to do this-not an expert, but at least able to DO them. but for some reason, my brain doesn’t translate how to do these.  like, my eyes see the correct movements, but as this information travels to the parts of my brain that translates this information to my BODY, it gets scrambled and gets turned into static.  No fun.

FItness

Pre Wod

weighted 1 mile run. legs felt dead

WOD

21-15-9-6-3

pushups

abmat sit ups

Kettle bell swings

this is what my box sweetly refers to as the “functional WOD”. AKA newbie wod. AKA not a WOD that a Crossfitter of my caliber should be doing. I am basically julie foucher, you know.

Anyways, the workout was written with 1.5 pood prescribed and only as 21-15-9. And here is another thing I failed at- I chickened out and grabbed the 44# thinking I couldn’t do it. So I added the extra 9 reps at the end.  But I could have done the extra 9 freaking pounds and not been such a wuss bag

ImageCowardice is no laughing matter.

Strength

Testing our 1RM

on top of having sore legs AND tweaking my back during rowing, i didn’t feel like giving my 100%. I got 135# and stalled coming out of the bottom, so I stopped. more tired legs than anything.

Post WOD

kipping practice

C2B practice

5×5 HSPU at home

1 min accumulated handstand hold

spent time on the bar kipping, and trying to C2B practice. Not successful. That was it, decided to give myself a little rest since tomorrow is WOD and then Power lifting

Food

Breakfast and lunch were essentially the same.  Egg whites, beef and some bacon.  I hadn’t gone shopping yet. Plus…easy.

photo-25

There is nutrition in there, I swear

Riley had some milk and carrots,  and it looked more appetizing than that

photo-18

Look, colors!

Dinner was a fail. Instead of writing about it ,i decided to show you in picture form how I failed at making Pesto shrimp and zucchini noodles (Recipe from Practical Paleo)

First, you get your ingredients for Pesto.

photo-24

Done.

Then, you blend. oh wait, probably not a good idea to do in the food processor if you don’t have the right blade. no problem, into the blender you go.

photo-22

See? Almost there.

Blend blend, get baby in high chair, blend blend until smooth.

 photo-21

NAILED IT. 

Next, use vegetable peeler on zucchini to get noodle like shapes similar in size.

photo-20

Obviously my size comparison is off.

Then steam with some shrimp. Toss together.

photo-19

I put this in front of my dog and he ran away. I ate it anyway.

I threw some goat cheese on it to make it slide down my gullet easier. PALEO FAIL

Other

Being a mom means you’re basically an honorary Toy s R Us employee. I can probably put together almost any infant toy you put in front of me, with minimal directions. I SO get the lack of wanting to look at directions now, men.  I GET IT.  These instructions are BULL.  Like, they show a screw, a philips screw drive, and a piece of wood and go SCREW IT IN. and then the next picture is an assembled toy. Oh, I wasn’t aware MAGIC was involved.

I just look at the box now. Close enough.

also, I wish i had a matching pair of leg warmers so my daughter and I could match

photo-23

baby learning to hold her own bottle=more time for selfies. we all win

You

what kind of things are a “surprise” struggle for you?  Also, if you can recommend a delicious paleo recipe that doesn’t end in the sads for me (read: easy peasy) please do so.

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7 thoughts on “Paleo Fail-eo (and other things I fail at)

  1. Val

    If I didn’t feel pressure for all my Christmas present, I would totally knot you some leg-warmers! Maybe if you’re patient, you could have them for next summer, but by then, your cute little girl won’t be wearing hers anymore! 😦

    Reply
    1. Lil Mama Post author

      Darn!! That’s so amazingly awesome you could knit those, though. Seriously, one time i made a snake pillow in home etc, and the eyes fell off when she was grading it. So not remotely good at any thing crafty.

      Reply
      1. Val

        ok… I don’t promise anything, but if I get a bit of spare time, I will give it a try and will mail them to you when they’re done! 🙂

  2. CrossFitContessa

    You don’t fall, just haven’t mastered the rope climb…yet! Yet being the key!

    I do a full wrap, rope between my legs from the front then around the outside of my right calf, over my foot and then my other foot keeps it in place. I think that’s how I do it anyway. Here is a link to a pic of our box coach doing her rope climb at regionals…this is how I wrap, but I don’t do it quite as awesome as her. https://scontent-a-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/944727_519690794753447_1684489247_n.jpg

    Reply

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